When I started blogging, I had very nice feedback. Americans gave me compliments on my voice and became regular members of my readership. I am conscious that my work has not reached the élite level yet, but there is a beginning to everything. A former highly experienced journalist also found my writings interesting. All I needed were these simple words: “I like it, keep going.”
I have enough experience to make a difference between French, German and American cultures. My husband who lived in the three countries also remembers how his teachers were drastically different from one country to the other. In France, to encourage a child you tell him how poorly he or she did and you finish by “you’d better improve next time!” In the US, it is the opposite – you always give the kid a lot of confidence although he or she did not do great. I would say Germany is pretty neutral. So neutral that a German who says he speaks basic French is actually bilingual, and a French who says he speaks German has an A2 level (based on the European Reference scale).
From childhood on, you can basically build up or tear down a kid. Telling him that his or her work is never good enough will never bring the good out of the child. How can you expect someone to improve if you only tell him or her negative words? Everyone does mistakes, especially kids – because this is the way they learn.
Start today to bring the good out of your kid, telling him or her that a failure is permissible. Take the time to teach him or her, because when you do that, you learn a lot. A lot of studies have proven how crucial it was when parents were involved in their children’s lives. Give your kids what you want them to learn from you. You always have something to offer to these beautiful little creatures.
Helping is not trading
Recently a friend of mine said they were looking for someone at his workplace for a job opening. I was extremely touched that he was so kind to think of me. His wife even came up to me and gave me something that would help me. Another friend of mine was searching for job positions for me. Another great girl-friend of mine guided and supported me. All of a sudden, in a matter of days, everyone around me was offering a hand to help me. I was overwhelmed by so much kindness and I thought to myself “Wow, why is everyone nice to me?”
I love helping people. It is a part of me to try to find solutions for other peoples’ problems. I realized that when I needed assistance there were also other friends around to do the same for me. We are so focused on those who were not there at a moment we needed them, that we forget those who were – sadly.
One thing I have learned over the years is to never give up on doing things for others. For a very long period of time you may feel that people do not realize the time it took you, but one day, out of the blue the situation can be totally reversed. Other people can come in your life and help you with something you have been struggling with for a very long time.
It is so important to understand that when you help others, the biggest mistake you can do is to wait for something in return – you can already be extremely content if you get one thank you. You never go to a birthday party expecting a gift in exchange for yours. Helping should be done genuinely , according to your heart and not calculated with your brain. Helping is a free gift, not only for the person you give to, but also for yourself. In fact, when you support someone else you will feel so good to have impacted their lives positively.
I believe the good comes to those who do good around them: do to others what you would want them to do unto you.